


I will run to you, find you and bring you back

by moondancerfay



Category: GOT7, MarkBum - Fandom, jinson - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Stress Relief, mentioning of panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24998365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondancerfay/pseuds/moondancerfay
Summary: Mark and JB had history and there was a silent agreement of the two of them to let the past go.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Mark Tuan, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Kudos: 31





	I will run to you, find you and bring you back

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend listening to "Find you" by JJP while reading this and if you want check out the lyrics, this one-shot is based on this song~

Surely, it wasn’t easy for JB during his recess due to his back and it for sure wasn’t easy for the others to understand that he needed to be busy, needed to be active with them, otherwise he had too much time to think. The group was constantly on the move, performing in different places, having fan-meetings, mini concerts and ad promotions. When the JJP comeback was finally decided, he and Jinyoung were happy to hopefully gather their old fans and make many new people get into their music and Got7. The other members were more than happy too to get a break and time to work on their individual projects. Even though they spent some time apart from each other, JB and Jinyoung appreciated to show their own music and style. Jackson used the time to promote his solo in China and Bambam was active in Bangkok. Mark and Yugyeom stayed in Seoul, focusing on their song writing, dancing and foreign language learning. Besides, Mark modeled and the maknae finally had some time to hang out with his family and old friends. Youngjae used the time well to work on his dream collaboration with American artists. So, despite having a Got7 break time, each member was active in his personal way and fans were still up to date with what was going on in their lives.  
The recording for the new JJP album was set and the duo rehearsed their songs on a daily basis, slowly getting the stage performance into their blood. They had a lot of fun in the practice room, with recording their diary show and with the dancers who were close friends of them since trainee days outside of the company, having dinner many times and a few drinks afterwards. The color of the new album was totally different to their previous work for JJP and suited their level of maturity.

***

JB was so tired after a staff meeting that he fell asleep on their living room couch. Mark was on his way to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get some water when he saw their leader in a very uncomfortable position on their black leather sofa. For a moment he took in the beauty of the younger. His new hair style really suited him well and Mark blushed. Every time he thought the old buried feelings towards the other were forgotten, they re-appeared. Slowly and as quiet as possible he kneeled next to Jaebum and softly stroked a lock from his new permed hair out of his face. His hair was so soft and Mark argued with himself to just go and sleep, but he just couldn’t. His long fingers glided over the younger’s pale skin in admiration. JB was perfect without make-up and the older wished he could see him more often like this.  
As careful as possible Mark took JB into his arms and carried him into his room, aware that he wasn’t allowed to let the cats out. Yes, JB was heavy, but Mark lifted weights for the last couple of months and he was confident enough to be able to put the leader to bed. With some difficulty he placed the other onto his bed where the main vocal – still sleeping – contently buried his face into the soft pillow, making Mark smile. He draped the blanket over the other’s body then made sure that all three cats were around and left the room with a last look and a warm feeling in his chest.

***

Jinyoung was on the edge these days, not only because of their long awaited JJP comeback, but also due to his numerous other schedules. He was nervous and insecure about his performance, so he practiced the dance moves as often as possible whenever a filming break was there and repeated his lines in the songs and in his drama alternating throughout the day. Jackson, when he was around, couldn’t focus on his own things anymore when he saw how riled up Jinyoung was. Whenever it was possible, he dragged the younger into a quiet corner to kiss him breathless. Only during these moments Jinyoung relaxed against the Chinese’s chest and let go of all the stress. Even for a moment, this was bliss and he couldn’t thank Jackson enough.

***

Mark and JB had history and there was a silent agreement of the two of them to let the past go. Whenever JB had a hard time though, Mark was the first person he went to. It was different these days, he was searching for places where he was secluded and could be by himself. He wanted to be alone, needed the silence and the time apart from his members. There was this song, his new favorite which connected his buried past with his insecure present. Jaebum never told anyone, especially not their oldest member how he felt about relationships and how much hurt he was when he was left behind. Although, he was hurt, he never felt sad that he made this experience and he put all this into the lyrics of this particular song. He wished he could have made it right, he would have fought for what was important to him and not give up so easily. Self-doubts and insecurities, his perfect picture of a relationship scattered into thousand pieces, all of it was overwhelming him and he was young, stupid and without experience. The easiest way was for him to run, to let go of the pain. With the passing time he learned to hold on to the memories, to search for the company that was meaningful. Despite the other not saying much it was the presence that counted, that made him feel at ease. The older was always there and they knew always where to find the other in need, when the burden of being an idol was too much to bear every now and then.  
Mark was very well aware of the leader’s condition and eyed him secretly whenever they saw each other in the company or in the dorm. They didn’t have much time to hang out due to the hurriedly set JJP comeback. The eldest knew he as well put a lot of stress and pressure onto the two younger member’s shoulders, but they had to succeed to promote JYPE and push Got7’s success in Korea. On one hand he felt bad about being such a critical group mate, on the other hand, he wanted Got7 to become more popular. He tried to feed the two well when they were in the dorm, ordering healthy food, making sure they got their calories they needed and he always made sure that they had it quiet and peaceful at home to rest and sleep, so he had to keep the two maknaes in check.  
Two days before the recording of the B-side tracks Mark felt that JB was extremely off and on the edge when talking to their head manager and staff. For days the eldest member hasn’t seen the leader around and whenever he asked Jinyoung where he was, the only answer he got was “in the studio”. Therefore, Mark grabbed some of JB’s favorite snacks and headed to the vocal studio where he expected to find the leader.

  
It was already quite late, the building was quiet and no one was around. He strolled through the hallway, hoping to find a booth with lights on and JB in it, but without success. He wondered where JB was, so he went to the office floor and whenever he encountered workers, he asked for Got7’s leader, but nobody had seen him. Mark didn’t give up that easily though and walked back to the vocal rooms floor, searching everywhere, opening every single door, calling out for Jaebum. At the second last door when he called out, a weak, slurry “Hyung” echoed in the empty room. Finally, he had found him. JB was sitting in the corner of the room in the dark. Mark knew that it wouldn’t be nice to turn on the lights as he had the feeling that JB was crying and he didn’t want to expose this weak side of the other, so he simply sat down next to him and pushed the snacks bags into his lap. “Have something to eat.” For sure, the elder wasn’t a man of words, but he knew what to say at the right time and his sense for tact was incredible. The closer he got to the other, the heavier he felt the condition the other was in. He reached out to find the leader lightly shaking, his muscles tense, the hands tensed on his knees were trembling. His breathing was off and he could sense the irregular heartbeat that close to him. Mark had to react instantly, took JB’s cheek into his hand, making the other look up, right into his face. He had to talk him through to relax. With gentle words he could finally get the leader to focus onto him, bit by bit letting go of the tension, slowly stopping to cry. Mark didn’t want to lie: he hated it seeing their leader in this condition, but he couldn’t do much. In the past he could give the other physical release, now this was taboo and they had to live with the scars he brought upon them. Honestly, he hated himself for what he had done to JB and promised to himself that from their breakup on he would only support and help the leader in whatever he did. When JB felt better he retreated from the elder’s touch and reached out to the snack bags. Without saying anything, JB opened one pack of crisps and started to eat. They both knew the leader faced a hard time and even though Mark expected the other to come to him if he was running into problems, sometimes they couldn’t overcome their old feelings for each other.  
“Will you tell me yourself or should I ask?” There was no way of escaping now, JB knew that it was time to let go of all his sorrows and worries and Mark always was there to listen, from the beginning to the end. When they were trainees they became close and when there was a misunderstanding they would always find a way, if not themselves they would ask someone else to mediate. The leader hastily brushed the remaining tears off his cheeks and tried to control his breathing. It had been a long time since he last cried, but sitting here in the dark with one of the closest people to him he knew, there was no need to feel embarrassed at all. He was slowly falling apart, too stressed and exhausted. When he lay down to sleep he couldn’t sleep, could neither focus nor concentrate, felt weak and guilty about becoming easily angry at the people around him who simply wanted to help. “I’m worried,” he started with a low voice.  
None of them cared much for how long they sat there and in which comfy position they ended up in with JB’s head resting on the bony shoulder of their oldest hyung. Mark had his long fingers intertwined with the leaders’ and didn’t plan to let go any time soon. He liked how comfortable they were with each other and how easy their conversation was flowing. They both knew why it was like this, why their relationship as friends was so deep and what they had given up for it. Each of them, JB and Mark, considered every now and then how it would have been when they kept on dating, while they debuted and how the other members would have taken it. Although, it all was a dream and these questions will never be answered.

  
JB showed the elder the part of the song he had problems with, having difficulties especially with this one high note, and slowly they were working together through the lyrics and song. With only one small lamp on they were left in dim light, sitting opposite each other when JB was humming the melody of the song, his strong jaw line visible with every slight movement. Mark caught himself staring more than once and when JB finished, Mark was directly exposed by their leader. “You’re staring hyung.” “I’m sorry,” the other mumbled. “You have something to say?” Mark was more than thankful that the light was not giving away his blushing cheeks. He had to give the other credit for pouring his heart out tonight and he thought it was only right to tell the truth himself so he took all his courage and tried to be brutally honest. “You’re beautiful Jaebum-ah.” The leader blinked a few times and lowered his head in bashfulness. He too was grateful that there was not much light in the room. Suddenly, a clash of thunder was heard and heavy rain beat the small veiled window. They jumped in unison, but smiled at each other a moment later. Jaebum loved rainy days and nights and Mark knew it very well. In an instant they were thrown back in time in their memories to their first night being intimate. They couldn’t go home that night like the other trainees and were left all alone, with a thunderstorm raging throughout the night. Since Mark was always a little demanding and the younger was in a soft, romantic mood, they ended up in Jaebum’s bed.  
Their smile faded quickly as they looked into each other’s eyes. Both knew where their mind was taking them to. They couldn’t deny that there was love and desire, need and trust. Another lightning was followed by loud thunder rolling through the sky. Mark looked away, his eyes shiny with tears. He wanted to get up, but was held put by JB’s hand. “Hyung.” “I’m sorry Jaebum,” the elder whispered, nearly inaudible because of the loud noise of the rain against the window. “Aren’t we over this? For how long will you apologize?” Mark’s lips became a thin line while nodding, but he sat down again. They had work to do.  
After a while they made themselves more comfortable on the black leather sofa in the small vocal room. The papers were scattered on their laps and when Jaebum replayed the melody several times, Mark scribbled various lines on his paper. JB’s notebook had several pages filled with this particular song and even though Mark was so close to him, he also wasn’t allowed to have a look into the black notebook that was like a diary to the leader.

They worked for many hours together on the song until they agreed on every single line. Mark was proud of the other and loved Jaebum for his passion of writing and composing. He was always so focused and creative to the extent that sometimes he even forgot to eat or sleep. Every song the younger created was a bit of his soul and Mark knew quite well that his fans loved every single one of them. The elder liked to work with the members on songs, but he enjoyed it most with JB, and his upcoming Japanese song with the lead vocal was something he anticipated greatly. They would be on it as soon as the JJP comeback schedule was done. Mark personally liked being in Japan, the fans were friendly, polite and very dedicated and they always received great love and support. While they were writing and collecting thoughts and memories, the two of them dug deep into their hidden feelings. They remembered their coy touches from the beginning, their simple talks due to Mark’s lack of Korean, the point where there was no going back, no hiding of feelings towards another anymore. Their first kiss, their first secret date and the longing gazes during practices. Their days were filled with joy, but also fear to be discovered by the other trainees or entertainment staff. Both were playing with fire, but they were young and stupid and, despite the dread of being kicked out since Korea’s society wasn’t very fond of two boys being more than close friends, they felt incredibly happy. These days were filled with hardships, but also with so much warmth that they gave each other only by just standing next to each other, handing the other a bottle of water or thinking of taking the other’s favorite ice cream from the grocery store. It all started with little things and they thought it will stay like this, the other always there, both next to each other.  
Mark regretted it badly when he retreated, when other people came into his life and he made the other leave. When they debuted he thought of asking JB for another chance, he realized every day that he missed the other, he couldn’t sleep well, couldn’t breathe because it hurt so much what he had done, though, he didn’t dare because after all, it was entirely his fault. The oldest member didn’t want to even think of how JB felt. Heartbroken is just a word but that cannot describe at all how lost Jaebum felt. He buried himself in work, JJ Project, their Got7 debut, all distracted him and he packed the elder into his dreams, hiding him in memories, locking them away, only to take them out whenever the world around him felt meaningless, then he would think of the old times, putting pictures like gems as puzzle pieces together. JB never voiced it out loud, but he was grateful that Mark gave him so many beautiful memories, even though some were drenched in sadness. These gave him the ability to write good songs, to write about true feelings, to write about hurt and love and accurate happiness, contentment and a broken heart.  
JB poured his whole heart into this song and with some changes with the help of the elder, it became the perfect composition of their time, of their feelings and the emotions that spoke from their hearts and their together past. After working with Mark on the song he felt confident to sing it, to feel it in every note and show this to others.  
The night progressed and both felt quite sleepy. They turned off the light and lay next to each other, stretched out on the floor, until Jaebum broke the silence. “Mark hyung, do you actually believe in second chances?” he whispered into the quiet room, the rain now only faintly tapping onto the window. The elder took his time to answer and JB thought the other might have fallen asleep already, but Mark answered nevertheless. “Depends.” “On what?” “If there are still feelings…” the older member said more to himself than into the direction of the leader. “Are there?” JB’s voice was deep, so was Mark’s when they whispered to each other in the early hours of the new day. Both knew what this was all about, no need to talk in riddles.  
“There wasn’t a single day without.” As waiting for his queue, JB crawled over to Mark and kissed him. Deeply, not holding back, giving his everything, showing him all the love that he had suppressed and hidden away for years. Mark responded in the same manner. The dating ban was lifted a few months back, they were free to do what their hearts wanted and they found back to each other. They finally found out that both were still in love despite holding a reserved distance, the feelings were always there.  
“I won't lose you for a second time,” is all Mark could say before they were consumed by the so long in chains kept longing and desperation for each other, now to be released in wild passion and the burning urge to be together again, even closer than they had been years ago. After all, they were full grownups now and knew very well what they liked and what they needed.

***

The morning after, which meant only a few hours later, was just a mess. Jackson found them on the floor, entangled in each other, barely wearing anything. After teasing them he quickly re-treated, fishing out his phone to message Jinyoung. Jaebum groaned. This was just great, now in a few minutes all members would find out about them being more than just close friends. He wanted to keep it between them, taking it slow, at least at first. Although, the members had no problem with two members dating since Jackson and Jinyoung were a thing from very early on. Still, he was not ready for their questions and looks. The two oldest members barely knew what was going on and if they were back together for real. He dreaded “the talk” they had to do once back in the dorm, and he was pretty sure that Mark would not say anything to contribute. He dreaded the uproar when they would arrive at the dorm. However, all the worries were gone in a second when JB looked at Mark and the older smiled widely at him. He brightly gave that smile back and intertwined their fingers. He felt so ready for the recording tomorrow and it had been such a long time since he felt so blissful, so content and balanced. They definitely could not go back to where they were many years ago, but they could build new memories, writing their history anew.  
“You and I, you and I,” Jaebum mumbled against Marks lips when he slowly took his time to worship the elder’s beauty, not caring at all anymore what would await them outside, on the other side of the door.

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was written for a MarkBum Fic Fest in 2017.


End file.
